Inspired by @bjnovak
  1. Freelancer coach
    I love helping people figure out what the next step in their career path should be, especially freelancers. Figuring out time management, healthcare, accounting, and how to make ends meet is not always easy, and I think I could teach people how to do it.
  2. Human resources professional
    I'm good at understanding workplace systems, and how/why certain personalities do/don't work well within them.
  3. Social media strategist
    I don't want to do this, but I know I could do it well.
  4. Dating coach
    My customer base would probably consist largely of Jewish women in their 30's and 40's who have officially finished dating losers/jerks and are ready to find their mensch.
  5. Kitchen analyst
    I would come to your house, analyze your pantry and refrigerator, interview you about your dietary/culinary/health preferences and goals, and then determine what you should actually be stocking. I'd compile recipes specifically for you, and then we'd go shopping for ingredients together.
  6. Crisis counselor
    Little things stress me out but when real shit happens, I am great at keeping people calm.
  7. Writer/Editor of the Trader Joe's Fearless Flyer
    Nobody loves TJ's more than I, and their enthusiastic, pun-riddled, yet slightly sarcastic tone is essentially how I write and speak already.