The Worst Date I Ever Went On

Tell me yours!
  1. It was December of 2011. "Doug" had messaged me on OkCupid. I wasn't really attracted to him, but he seemed pretty nice and I decided it would be good to say yes more often, just to try to get out there more.
    Over coffee, he told me his life story from birth until present day for 45 minutes. Before I could respond, he began a tirade about how much he hates alternative healthcare. I started to say a friend of mine had positive experiences with acupuncture. He asked me to qualify exactly what it did for her. I didn't exactly know. He told me "keep your mouth shut if you don't know what you're talking about." I walked out. He texted the next day to ask if I wanted to get a drink that weekend. I didn't.
  2. It was my second ever tinder date. He invited me to a secret comedy show and I was still new enough to LA that that seemed cool. When I got to the bar that the show was at, he told me he'd spent the day getting high and watching Elysium twice in the theaters. He was 10 years older than me and dressed like he was 12. He was a stand up comic.
    The show began and he immediately started groping my ass. While we were seated. At a stand up show. The extent of our conversation prior to the date had been "Do you think Walt is gonna kill Jesse on Breaking Bad?" The show was fine but he was super skeevy. I insisted we spilt the bill but he'd already started a tab so he said I could pay him cash and I was $1 short so he flipped. I debated too long about leaving when he went to the bathroom so he came back and sneak attack kissed me.
    Suggested by   @RachelP
  3. We met on Myspace!!! We went to a tequila bar and she ordered "a screwdriver!" A David Bowie song came on the jukebox and I said "I love Bowie," and she said, "Who?"
    Suggested by   @tothemaxxx
  4. When I was 16 a guy took me to the movies to see DaVinci Code. He was nice, but that movie was terrible.
    Suggested by   @joannaspicer
  5. When I was a surgery resident, I went out with a guy who asked me out in Whole Foods. We went to Ozuma in SF after I had been in the OR all day. I barely made it to the restaurant, I was SO HUNGRY, but he told the hostess we wanted to wait for a window table!
    Some choice quotes: "wow, you ate and drank more than I did", "so what does it feel like to cut someone", "I consider myself a better looking Keanu Reeves". When I told him I didn't want a second date he sent me a 3 page letter about how he was disappointed in me.
    Suggested by   @AlexandraLouise
  6. This guy I met on tinder invited me to "a friend's" for dinner. I get to this condo, and he's standing outside alone, with his big ass dog. We get inside, and he tells me he didn't cook, but we could order pizza. I start planning how tf I'm getting out of there as soon as that happened.
    He had a camera in the corner of his living room that he kept smiling into. He chugged a whole 32 oz Gatorade, then flexed into the camera and hollered "I LOOK GOOOOOOOD!" He blew vape smoke in my face. He kissed his dog in the mouth and called her his girlfriend 7 times (I counted). He told me he was the disappointment of his family, in so many words. And he joked about following me home. I had to get my friend to call so I could bail the fuck out.
    Suggested by   @olive
  7. ISIS Sympathizer who took me on a 5 hour drive to nowhere up the PCH after promising a hike and vegan lunch. He was a high school acquaintance who looked me up when he found out I was also in LA. I was lonely and looking for friends and didn't want to say no. I should have bolted as soon as I met up with him at his car
    He said he hated dogs, referred to his mom as a c***, said the govt was tracking him and said ISIS HAD A POINT. He asked if I "chief herb," and after surveying the scene I declined. He maxed out his speakers playing music I do not care for and could not speak over. He drove with his foot hanging out of the window bc he had injured it years ago jumping off of a garbage truck. We passed the naval base and I asked him where the hike was (riiiight). We u-turned in Camarillo (to Santa Monica).
    Suggested by   @furtadomf