Wedding Stuff I Promise Not to Do

Inspired by @ashleyspivey's excellent list.
  1. Require that my female friends drop $$ on ugly matching dresses they will never wear again.
    I'm actually not going to have bridesmaids. Close friends will hold chuppah poles and/or read blessings, and they can wear whatever they want.
  2. Insist on a bachelorette "weekend"
    Just attending a wedding is expensive--it feels weird to ask my friends--many of whom don't know each other--to drop bank to spend an entire weekend with me and a bunch of strangers.
  3. Freak out about colors.
    I didn't know we were supposed to choose them until recently.
  4. Bore people to death with discussion of napkin colors, cake styles, and veil trim options.
    It's only sort of interesting to me anyway.
  5. Kill myself trying to lose a crazy amount of weight.
    I'm sure I will tone up and trim down, but it's going to be within the range of normal.
  6. Register for $200 place settings.
    We already have all the linens and kitchen stuff we need, and would really so much rather have money to put toward a downpayment on a house. Currently exploring honeyfund.com and hatchmyhouse.com. Side note: our parents all think we still need to register for physical stuff too, so people have a choice. Anyone been through this and care to comment?
  7. Toss the bouquet.
    This is a wedding, not an athletic event. Also I think it's kind of sexist.