LAW&ORDER: SVU CLICHÉS

Shit that ALWAYS happens on Law&Order:SVU
  1. Terrible witticisms.
    Ex. In the case of autoerotic asphyxiation, detective Stabler said "I guess if you want something done right, you've gotta do it yourself."
  2. Transparent compliments directed towards the female detectives.
    A stripper will always tell Olivia "you know, you've got the body to be a dancer" and whores will say "the Johns would love you." Is that meant to be flattering?
  3. Whenever possible, the female detective will be in evening wear, getting called to the scene of a crime unexpectedly.
    The male detective then says "hot date?" when she arrives.
  4. The detectives are discussing the case in the squad room. They are questioning a piece of evidence and then a phone rings, one detective answers it while the others ask questions regarding the case. The detective hangs up the phone and gives them the answer to the question THEY WERE JUST DISCUSSING. HOW DOES THAT HAPPEN EVERY FUCKING TIME?
  5. Nobody they are questioning ever stops what they're doing to talk to them; they just continue with their task like it's no big deal to be talking to the police. The fucking murder police.
    "Sorry detectives but I really need to continue replanting these gardenias while you ask me questions regarding the rape and murder of my kid's babysitter."
  6. The culprit always EXPLAINS why they did what they did. Like, in great detail.
    "You didn't think I was capable did you? Nobody ever thinks I can do anything. Not you, not my mother! Well, I showed you, didn't I? Now she'll have to notice me. She'll have to see what I'm truly capable of. "...mmkay...
  7. Stabler can translate any Latin phrase simply because he's Catholic. For real?
  8. Ice-T knows every graffiti symbol, slang drug name, gang sign, etc. Anything hood, Ice-T knows.
  9. Every bar tender, convenience store cashier, or bellboy remembers literally everyone they see and can oftentimes recall bits of conversation they overheard.
  10. So an episode will be about something like video games or cell phone use and then Stabler has a scene at home where he learns his children are struggling with the same issue. And he's always extremely surprised.
  11. If Ice-T says a a black person did or didn't do something, he is right, no questions asked. Seriously. They *never* question his knowledge (more like opinion) of black folk.
  12. Law and Order thinks no civilians will realize that the person leaned up against a wall, wearing a suit and a long, black coat, talking into their sleeve, is a cop.