Eligible

I'll prob delete this
  1. I'm sitting outside in the shade
  2. Hungover as hell
  3. Trying to piece together how and when I got home
  4. I don't remember messaging the boy
  5. The one I pathetically orbited around all night
  6. Hoping for a second round of drunken mistakes
  7. Okay third
  8. I didn't even read his rejection
  9. I didn't read what I initially sent
  10. I just deleted it
  11. It never happened
  12. And now I'm enveloped by an entirely new bad feeling
  13. One that will stay with me longer than my pounding headache
  14. Trying not pay close attention to my current situation
  15. Sitting near the trash bins
  16. Reading a book called Eligible
  17. When I so clearly
  18. Am not