I BET MY NYE WAS SLOPPIER THAN YOURS
- •My friend and I were supposed to go bar hopping for NYE but her and her boyfriend decided to have a house party instead
- •It was just her boyfriend's dumb friends
- •At like 5:30am I ended up hooking up with one of the friends in the bathroom
- •We were trying to be low key all night and all the sneaking around was actually kind of hot
- •Well it was until he came ON MY SHOULDERSeriously wtf
- •Aaaand until we turned the lights on...
- •...and he had a little blood on his handsGuess who got their period. (Sorry, I told you it was TMI).
- •Then I hid in the tub until the coast was clearAnother dude rushed in to puke his brains out and I was on the other side of the shower curtain the whole time.
- •Then I had to sneak around to the front of the house and come up with some lame excuse for my disappearanceI told everyone I went for a walk...at 6am.
- •We promised we wouldn't tell anyone
- •So naturally I told my friend and her boyfriendAnd now you know.
- •They danced around crying with laughterI'm glad they found it amusing.
- •Happy new year you guys
- •I hope your first moments of 2017 were better than mine