I BET MY NYE WAS SLOPPIER THAN YOURS

Warning: TMI
  1. My friend and I were supposed to go bar hopping for NYE but her and her boyfriend decided to have a house party instead
  2. It was just her boyfriend's dumb friends
  3. At like 5:30am I ended up hooking up with one of the friends in the bathroom
  4. We were trying to be low key all night and all the sneaking around was actually kind of hot
  5. Well it was until he came ON MY SHOULDER
    Seriously wtf
  6. Aaaand until we turned the lights on...
  7. ...and he had a little blood on his hands
    Guess who got their period. (Sorry, I told you it was TMI).
  8. Then I hid in the tub until the coast was clear
    Another dude rushed in to puke his brains out and I was on the other side of the shower curtain the whole time.
  9. Then I had to sneak around to the front of the house and come up with some lame excuse for my disappearance
    I told everyone I went for a walk...at 6am.
  10. We promised we wouldn't tell anyone
  11. So naturally I told my friend and her boyfriend
    And now you know.
  12. They danced around crying with laughter
    I'm glad they found it amusing.
  13. Happy new year you guys
  14. I hope your first moments of 2017 were better than mine