What I did on 5/18/16
Brief overview of what I did on 5/18/16
- •Woke upMy day started painful. My legs, abs, and shoulders where fatigue from 12 hours of tennis divided among the past two days.
- •Graduation rehearsalThe venue was 18 minutes away from my house and I planed accordingly.
- •Finding my seatComing in I assumed I was sitting with my familiar friend because our last names both started with GAL but things weren't organized that way. I was assigned a seat next to Renee. Geez, should I be grateful to God or something. Thinking about it, it's odd how we both ended up sitting at the same prom table and next to each other at graduation. This becomes the hardest part of my mentality about taking to girls like her.
- •Finding my seat pt.2When I say "Girls Like Her" I'm talking about this social clic she belongs in and where I stand on this partially imaginary spectrum. It's the same mentality when I met Chase, I felt I wasn't "good" enough to be with her and she's deserving of older, better, and cooler men not the boy I knew I was.
- •LeavingI didn't rush out but arriving by staying and talking to friends wouldn't lead to anything of grandeur. The only thing I could really talk about was how the tournament went yesterday, and I really didn't feel like repeating a conversation twice with two different people. I ducked out said hello to people I was familiar with in the parking lot. Driving out I saw someone in the shade looking like they were having difficulty calling someone for a ride.
- •Leaving pt.2I wanted to help him. But the decision was extensive, I quickly made generalization in my head, thinking about his place in the spectrum. Still thinking about the decision I offered him a ride. Quickly after the words left my mouth I regretted asking, not because I didn't want to offer him a ride but because I wasn't completely decided yet. Andrew without even giving a second thought accepted.
- •Leaving pt.3That also caught me by surprise, he didn't even thinking about the consequences of accepting a ride from a near stranger. It was weird, it gave me a sense of fearlessness from Andrew.
- •The rideMy premature decision caused my guard up. I was looking for signs of how this ride was going to turn out. My attention was on Andrew instead of the road. He first fastens his seat belt, and then quickly calls whoever he was trying to reach earlier telling them that he has a ride and about messages he sent earlier. I was curious about then messages but I didn't pursue it. He looks out the window and sees I a friend, ready to say his name Andrew stops himself on the first syllable.
- •The ride pt.2This lowered my guard, seeing him catch his tongue because of the possibility of his friend imposing me for a ride. I asked general icebreakers like "How do you feel about graduation?" Andrew answered pretty much the same as me, overall not really clear what's to come but conscious of the options we have. He explained that how he described it as "3 paths"; his paths were the local community college, priest hood, and Marine Core.
- •The ride pt.3I asked if he had a deep religious affiliation. He said no... This made me smirk, why on earth would you be a priest if there's no deep affiliation to God?!? He was more interested in the benefits of priesthood then the moral satisfaction. It was the same answer for joining the Marine Core. My thoughts skewed from the conversation thinking maybe that the priest who molest children are only there for the benefits too... Maybe I was going about Andrew wrong.
- •The ride pt.4Maybe he's not just about the benefits but survival the primal instinct of being able to support ourselves and he's just thinking about those occupations as a means to have a comfortable life. We then talked about our views on politics, reform, and general backstory. I learned that he's from the rougher part of Chicago, which explains his fearlessness in accepting a ride from me. As the ride was coming to an end we both expressed our views about how pleasant it was to have our conversation.
- •Finding my seat pt.3 (afterwards)This is BULLSHIT why does it matter to me, high school's over it doesn't matter if more people know her compared to me. I've decided that if she shows any amount of interest in me I'm going for it. This reminds me of advice from my friend who's the valedictorian of his school of distinguished scholars "Imagine her taking a hot steaming shit on the toilet like everyone else".