Why "Foodies" Annoy Me

Warning: this list is probably too salty for foodies.
  1. 1.
    Eating Doesn't Make You Special
    Oh you like food? Well we all do, we just aren't assholes about it. We all eat food and have a tendency to eat what actually tastes good. The fact that you go out of your way to eat food and put it on Instagram doesn't make you unique. Billions of people around the world struggle to find food daily yet foodies take to the Internet to rip apart a restaurant for the smallest of grievances. Get over yourself.
  2. 2.
    Speaking of Instagram
    Put down the damn phone and eat your food. Does the world really need to see the cheeseburger? No. Be a normal person and join in the dinner conversation.
  3. 3.
    Yelp Reviews
    We get it. You're soooooo important. You really are changing the world with one annoying review at the time. "Ugh, I can't believe we had to wait 45 minutes for a table. 1 star". Stop it.
  4. 4.
    Dinner with a foodie
    Must you compare the panini you had in France to what we are currently eating in Panera? Look I've travelled too, but you don't need to humble brag your way through this entire meal. Just let me enjoy my goddamn broccoli cheddar soup without the side of judgment please.
  5. 5.
    The word foodie
    Doesn't it just sound pretentious? Seriously say "I'm a foodie" with some seriousness and see if you can maintain the same level of self respect. I bet you can't do it. I know I can't. It would make me want to throat punch myself.
  6. 6.
    Silver lining
    The blessing in disguise to all of this is that we live in a country so abundant with riches that being a food douche is possible. #GodBlessAmerica 🇺🇸