FROM ASS TO BADASS-RANKING THE ADULTS IN THE ORDER OF THE PHOENIX

Who would you pick first if you're playing dodgeball, fighting voldi, or invading Canada
  1. Mundungus Fletcher-steals Harry's shit, ditches when Voldi shows up, and gets beat up by house elfs. How is he even part of the gang? #asshat
  2. Frank and Alice Longbottom-props for getting tortured and living. But would probably get lost on the way to the fight.
  3. Bill Weasley-got mauled by a werewolf but didn't die. Snagged a hot chick like Fleur anyway. Lives on the edge by eating his steak rare.
  4. Arthur Weasley-spends too much time getting distracted by muggle stuff, probably a hoarder. But made a flying car which is pretty cool and survived being attacked by a snake
  5. Kingsley Shacklebolt-rocks that hat like a boss. Always soft spoken but bet he has some bad ass karate skills. Makes that cool talking patronus
  6. Lupin-turns into a super freaky werewolf. Looks like a homeless person but snags Tonks anyway. Might eat you by mistake
  7. Tonks-true originator of the duck face. Can change her hair color at will. Gave birth to a part werewolf baby and lived briefly to tell about it
  8. Mad Eye Moody-dude has been carved up more than a thanksgiving turkey. Has a magic eye. Looks super cool riding a broom
  9. Sirius Black-survived Azkaban for 12 years. Broke out by turning into a bad ass dog. Rebel w/ a cause. Looks sweet in a suit jacket
  10. Molly Weasley-gave birth to like 15 kids. Makes a mean howler. Goes Momma Bear and kills Belatrix. Makes potatoes peel themselves
  11. Dumbledore-rocks an epic beard. Not afraid to wear a dress and kicks ass in it. Drank that poison water in horcrux cave but still escaped those zombies. Probably lived for 150 years. Uses candy for passwords.
  12. Snape-secret agent . Fooled the greatest dark wizard of all time into thinking he was bad to the bone. Made up dangerous spells and rocked at making potions. Probably didn't work out, or shower, but was a master enunciator. Spent his life taking care of his crush's kid. Was so bad ass he couldn't be killed by a spell.