Thoughts That Occur to Me When the Neighbor's Chihuahua Won't Shut Up

I have always considered myself a dog person. Chihuahuas, I have long concluded, are not real dogs.
  1. The seventh circle of hell is guarded by a thousand Chihuahuas.
  2. How many volts does it take to quiet a Chihuahua? Not kill it, just quiet it down.
  3. Chihuahua meat probably is chewy and gamely, like incredibly tiny pieces of venison jerky.
  4. How far into the suburbs do hawks and falcons fly? And are they hungry?