Inspired by @bjnovak
  1. She cares for all the stupid cats that never find their way home
  2. She owns a lot of nice flashlights
  3. She loves the smell of Christmas trees
  4. She makes a lot of abstract art
  5. She sings a lot of Ben Folds Five
  6. It gets cold when she's not around
  7. She tells the dumbest knock-knock jokes