WORST THINGS TO HEAR FROM A SURGEON BEFORE YOU LOSE CONSCIOUSNESS

  1. Whelp, first time for everything
  2. I hope I don’t leave my wallet in there again
  3. Wow, look how much my hands are shaking
  4. Anybody seen the instruction manual?
  5. I’m not doing anything until everybody’s pants are off
  6. If I see blood I’m going to puke so hard
  7. Am I taking something out or putting something in?
  8. OK, let’s gut this fish
  9. Man, I am on an epic Schnapps bender
  10. Hot damn I love playing God
  11. Nurse, I bet you one dollar I can do this with my eyes shut
  12. I’m not a doctor, but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night
  13. Scalpel plea—Ah! Zombies!
  14. [Alien voice] Sacrificing this human shall please our Lords
  15. I’ll show this fucker what kind of surgery Obamacare buys