My Bachelorette Contestants

All celebrities and in order of who would be the first to go to the last...
  1. 1.
    Drake
    So cute, but he's the guy who discovers that he doesn't want to share me, and wants to respect me. He leaves on his own good terms.
  2. 2.
    Aaron Rodgers
    Hot and a football player with an actual personality? Too good to be true. In the end of the day, I don't love you enough to watch videos every football game.
  3. 3.
    Henry Cavil
    Hey he's dating a 19 year old and I'm 22 so I have a shot! But then again, do I trust him?
  4. 4.
    Keira Knighty
    A goddess but too classy for the Bachelorette. I don't want her stooping to my level.
  5. 5.
    Gaston from Beauty and the Beast
    No explanation. Have you seen his chest hair? Only keep around for a shirtless challenge.
  6. 6.
    BJ Novak
    I feel like he'd think he's too cool for all of this and no matter how desperate I become, he won't stay. Is this because I was so awkward at your book signing? I got star stuck Im sorry! I thought getting you on the Bachelorette would allow us to get to know each other better!! BJ? BJ where are you going?
  7. 7.
    Leo
    You all know who I'm talking about. Millionaire playboy extraordinaire, I can't break through that steamy persona of his. He won't open up to me. He's too guarded. The Bachelorette, despite saying she's guarded at every 1-on-1, don't like when her guys are guarded.
  8. 8.
    Seth Meyers
    So funny. So adorable. But not Fantasy Suite material. But a really hard one to say goodbye. Had to leave the room after the rose ceremony for that one.
  9. 9.
    John Mulaney
    Another charming one, another one where we would laugh and listen to the same Tom Jones soundtrack on repeat. But we agree to be friends because...
  10. 10.
    Seth MacFarlane
    We gave it a go. Such a great guy to talk to, again another funny one. We have a beautiful date together. But I had to send someone home, but we will remain friends or something and meet up on Instagram.
  11. 11.
    Adam Scott
    No one knows why he's still in it and everyone is v confused how he made it so far. He hasn't spoken once. But then I find out he's in love with someone else and he has to leave. But since there was no chemistry, I respect his decision, slash we already had an emotional episode so they got to cool it.
  12. 12.
    Pete Wentz
    Another bad boy. There are a lot of bad boys. But secretly a sensitive little bitch and would fight with anyone he thought wasn't here for "the right reasons."
  13. 13.
    Benedict Cumberbatch
    We go on a fantastic date in London and to the theater. He has to leave because my producers don't like him. Ughhhh
  14. 14.
    Paul Rudd
    So cute. So charming. But we are down to the last of em. Goodbye Paul. He's a great sport. All the guys miss him.
  15. 15.
    Tom Hiddleston
    Mm mm. Mmmm. Mmmm.
  16. 16.
    Tom Hardy
    He's the bad boy. The boy I just can't break but is so unbelievably hot I can't let go and I want him to make the fantasy suite. But he dumps me and I'm devastated. He misses his dogs too much. This makes me leave for a day to focus on myself, which pisses the producers a lot but is a "first in Bachelorette history." But he accepted the Fantasy Suite key?!
  17. 17.
    Chris Pratt
    A nice guy, a fan favorite. Don't worry, he'll be the next Bachelor.
  18. 18.
    Ryan Gosling
    My love. My true love. He goes down on one knee and I cry and we are in love and drive off in that car from Drive and live on in various reality shows.