DISAPPOINTING TOYS OF MY CHILDHOOD
- •SpirographsNobody could ever get the circles to make more than a rotation or two before they skidded apart and left a jagged line across your pathetic drawing. They should have just named this one "Frustration."
- •Speak n SpellAdventures in early robotics. A pretty cool toy, in its way, but it had the battery life of a knockoff iPhone, and when the power ran low it spat gibberish at you and told you all your answers were wrong. Basically it was like my dad after a few drinks.
- •X-Ray spexI ordered these out of the back of Boy's Life magazine without telling my parents, since I was sure they'd try to talk me out of it. But that meant I had to send cash instead of a check. Oddly, the glasses never arrived. I remain convinced that if they had they would totally have worked and I would be a superhero today.
- •Balsa airplanesFun for the 30 seconds they lasted. I think they were made by the engineers who brought us the Space Shuttle Challenger.
- •Walkie talkiesThey only worked if you were standing close enough to the other person to carry on a normal conversation.