EMBARRASSING HOBBIES OF MY YOUTH

  1. Magic
    I subscribed to Magic Magazine, and haunted Tannen's magic shop in NYC, and took private lessons from a vaguely pedo teacher. For two summers in a row I even went to magic sleep-away camp on Long Island. I also used to hire myself out for birthday parties and bar mitzvahs, and wrote my college application essay about this hobby.
  2. Calligraphy
    I had fountain pens and India ink and books of lettering, and used to write elaborate birthday cards on parchment (often fake movie posters or government proclamations) which I would roll up and tie like a scroll.
  3. Flute
    I played flute on and off for probably six years starting in middle school. I still have it tucked away in a cabinet somewhere, and I'm pretty sure I could still rock the B-flat scale.
  4. Reading
    Less embarrassing now, of course, but in seventh grade it didn't do much for my social development. Terry Brooks, Terry Pratchett, Frank Herbert, Stephen King, Robert A. Heinlein, Agatha Christie, John D. Macdonald: They were my gateways.
  5. Masturbation
    Obviously.