SENTENCES I'M MOST LIKELY TO START A CONVERSATION WITH
After making this list, I've realized I'm not a very exciting conversationalist.
- •"So I was listening to NPR this morning..."A guy once told me "maybe you should take a break from NPR. You talk about it a lot." Guess someone was just jealous of my trove of semi-useless information.
- •"Guess what happened to my car today..."5 years of a shitty car made for a lot of boring car-problem stories. #RIPFordFocus 🚗⚰
- •"Did you see that SNL skit..."Once I start explaining it the funniness level of it quickly goes downhill.
- •"So I was at Trader Joe's and the checkout guy..."I'm convinced the only requirement to work at Trader Joe's (or Whole Foods) in Seattle is to be a hot guy. So many beards.
- •"I had this dream last night..."I have bizarre and intricate dreams every night and no one is ever as interested in hearing about them as I think they should be.
- •"You won't believe what this guy texted/snapchatted me..."Always accompanied by screenshots. Top source of entertainment.
- •"You know that Seinfeld episode where..."A reference to Seinfeld is always appropriate.
- •"Have you heard that new Drake song?"One of my self-appointed jobs in life is to keep all my friends up to date on Canadian music. Also related: "Have you seen the music video for this song?" The answer is almost always no. I miss the MTV era (not that I had cable as a kid so I don't really know anything about that era).
- •"So today, one of my students..."I love telling everyone about the college students I work with. They teach me new things and are funny and awesome and write me nice notes and occasionally make questionable decisions.
- •"That's not gonna be a good situation for my asthma/hives..."Bad genes, leaving me on the sidelines since 1990. #lilweezy
- •"I was talking to my counselor..."It's a miracle I survived being a member of my crazy family/being a twenty-something before I started going to counseling, and I always want to talk about what I learned #besthourofmyweek