SOME OF MY DAD'S RULES, 1995-2005

Nealy Poo meant business. Our nickname for him was "The Fun Police". 👮🏻
  1. 3 carrot sticks before that second slice of pizza 🍕.
    The pizza was always from Domino's. And I'd always toss my half-eaten carrots under my brother's chair. #bestsisterever
  2. All bowls of cereal must contain at least 50% non-sugar cereal.
    Options included: Cheerios and Spoon Size Shredded Wheat. At one point my mom kindly provided us a measuring cup as a guide. 1 cup of Cheerios required per bowl.
  3. No spraying water on the trampoline.
    "It's going to stretch it out" was his reason. But as anyone knows, a hose increases the fun (and danger) level of a trampoline by 500%. We just tried to make sure we turned off the hose by 5pm so the water would dry up before he came home. And then come up with very creative lies for the injuries we sustained from water/trampoline wrestling.
  4. No laundry on Sunday nights. Learn to plan ahead.
    For a few years we had school uniforms and my Dad was not about us fighting over the washing machine at 10pm on Sunday nights. "Preparation, not procrastination" was what he would calmly tell us as we tried to convince him to bend the rules.
  5. Only one glass of juice per day.
    "It's just sugar water."
  6. Every child must play an instrument.
    Violin is your only option. Violin lessons are much better for you than dance lessons, so stop asking to take ballet. 🎻
  7. No going to the mall on Sundays.
    Sundays are for church, and shopping at the mall does not glorify the lord, even if you already went to church. "There's a reason the mall closes at 6pm on Sundays!" ⛪️
  8. PG-13 movies aren't gonna happen until you're 14.
    This rule only remained strict for my sister. I got to see one when I was 12, and she never lets me forget it. Although I came home from Save The Last Dance and told my parents I didn't like it because they swore so much. I'm sure it was one of their proudest Christian parenting moments.
  9. M&Ms are an allowable purchase at Christmas time only.
    They must be mint, because that's the only appropriate Christmas flavor. 🎄
  10. There's only one correct way to hold a pen/pencil/fork, etc.
    He said he would pay me $100 to change my pen hold. It took me years but finally at age 14 I really wanted the $100 so I did it.
  11. Drinking caffeine is almost as bad as drinking alcohol.
    My mom had a cup every morning and it was my dad's life mission that none of his children develop a caffeine addiction. I still feel uncomfortable drinking coffee in front of him.
  12. Pillows are an unnecessary luxury item when camping. 🏕⛺️
    "Roll up your sweater and use it as a pillow if you really want one." When we were camping and I asked what time it was or if I could take a shower or asked for any other unnecessary luxury items, he would always say "G. It's camping." Which meant, "You're in the woods. Lower your standards."