I started keeping track when I was about halfway through so this list isn't really complete.
  1. "He looked over the heads of the passengers pretending to study an Ex-Lax advertisement"
  2. "I bet your husband spits on you... afterwards!"
    The most intense burn I've read in a book ever.
  3. "If ever I have children I will not read their diaries as I believe that even a child is entitled to some privacy. If Mama finds this again and reads it, I hope she will take the hint."
  4. "Airplanes! Just a crazy fad. Won't last long."
  5. "I got nothing to worry about. I got a double hernia."
    On the possibility of fighting in the war.
  6. "Who dares to place a mustache on his shoulder?"
    Parody of the anti war song "I didn't raise my boy to be a solider". Sung by Aunt Evy.
  7. "Jesus Christ died on a cross for people like you and now you won't show a new girl where the terlet is."
  8. "I have exactly two dollars to spend on a hat."
    "Get out of my store!"