1. A catchy theme song
  2. A laugh track
  3. A pat and happy wrap up or some definitive closure at either 30 or 60 minute intervals
  4. Sassyness without consequence
  5. A plucky older neighbor with boundary issues who closes each conversation with a guaranteed zinger
  6. A voiceover to explain things that otherwise wouldn't make sense or to give extra context
  7. Applause for friends I rarely get to see
  8. A break every 7 or so minutes
  9. Celebrity cameos!
    Suggested by @ColePlambeck