Things Ive Heard in This Emergency Room

The only ER on cape cod. A cacophony of semi muted suffering, craziness, and banal conversation snippets. I'm here as a precaution which makes it somehow more and less insufferable.
  1. Ma'am, can you listen and answer my questions without interupting
  2. It hurts when I think about it.
  3. No no NO, can't we just go home and let it heal on its own, please please please???
  4. If you aren't looking at it does it still hurt the same?
  5. Cat cat cat ( a rather happy 3 year old girl)
  6. Lots of hurt lips coming in today. I'm not sure what's up with lips today.
  7. So, what color would you say the pus was?
  8. I just want to go home home HOME !
  9. I wish I had an answer but I don't.
  10. I prefer Vicodin to the Percocet, but I'm not sure which I took today.
  11. Are we numbing? Can we do numbing?
  12. I'm just really into yellow gatorade.
  13. Is the other room nicer?
  14. Do you like Popsicles? Ice cream? Candy? No, I'm not talking to you, you aren't the patient. Did you get stitches today? No, then let's just deal with the patient for right now.
  15. This is gonna hurt and I'm sorry about that.
  16. OWWWWW. Ow. OW. IT REALLY REALLY HURTS. Silence. Whimper. The unwrapping of a Popsicle.
  17. Poor little 2 year old next to me crying so hard he can't make sound anymore just pushing air 😪 and his parents who are troopers
  18. The sound of me leaving, all clear