1. Forgetting to carry one when the iPhone oracle says rain
  2. Stabbing people in the eye because you are too lazy to lift yours as you walk past them
  3. Being an assassin and having a rad umbrella with a dagger in the handle and mistakenly bringing the regular umbrella to the hit
  4. Letting the lady get rained on
    Just give up the sharing the umbrella notion and put it square over her head for goodness sake. And yes, you still hold it.
  5. Carrying it any further inside than the front door if you've just come in from the rain
  6. Not shaking it out once collapsed if there's a covered space outside the door
  7. Not looking first to see if anyone is nearby before shaking it out or collapsing it
  8. Keeping it even if it's broken.
    This creates a circle of misery. Break the circle, get a new umbrella. Or invest in @thebfg umbrella rental startup.