1. Hey, hey, hey! We share DNA!
  2. For a Mediocre Dad Across the Miles
  3. #Throwback to that time you and my mom had sex. The '70s were a crazy time, amirite?
  4. If drinking too much and falling asleep on the couch was an art form, you'd be the Monet.
  5. Happy Anniversary of our awkward, yearly phone conversation!