alt. title: musings of an underemployed millennial.
  1. Kill me (24/7)
  2. I'm gonna flex and bust outta here.
  3. I wonder if anyone will notice if I never come back from lunch?
    (I always come back, however)
  4. No, sir, I'm not in school, I'm officially a sad adult.
  5. How many sips of this energy drink will it take to help me not feel dead inside?
    Answer:not even the whole can.
  6. "if it doesn't scan, it must be free?" WOW! U SO FUNNY.
  7. I'm wasting so much time that could be spent doing nothing at all.
  8. Why are you buying so much cat food?
  9. is this just for one cat?
  10. Thank you for putting the heaviest item on the belt, which I'll struggle to lift with my T Rex arms for the next 5 minutes.
  11. I've learned more about the Kardashians than I've ever wanted to know. Thanks, useless celebrity magazines!
  12. Ok, you don't have to call me by my name tag. Don't make it weird.
  13. made it weird.
  14. I hope no one notices that I'm on my phone..
  15. ...whoops!
  16. Dammit, Little Jimmy! Your mom totally said 'no candy.' Weren't you listening?
  17. Against Me!'s 'Bamboo Bones' playing in my head on a constant basis
  18. This