LADIES OF ARTWORK RANKED IN ASCENDING ORDER OF THEIR EMOTIONAL ACCESSIBILITY TO ME
Will you get me through my break-up? Will you tell my roommate to quit nagging? Will you pay the interest on my student loans? Come thru, ladies, come thru.
- •For those days when you need more of a slap on the face than a helping hand, there's La Gioconda....She's judging you for those late fees and you deserve it.
- •You think your problems are bad? Spending five minutes with a woman who has two kids in diapers will make you revel in your freedom til kingdom come.
- •Hey, you may be crying, but so is this woman and she's rocking a hat fierce enough for Prince Harry's wedding. Chin up, buttercup.
- •Mary Magdalene will commiserate with you in the darkest of times. Literally, if you ever find yourself presumed dead in a cave for three days, homegirl will find you.
- •Boob squeeze. Baby goat. My emotions have been stabilized. Thanks, Chagall.