THINGS I WANT TO BE FOR HALLOWEEN THAT NO ONE WILL APPRECIATE

  1. My own cat.
    Step 1: Purchase cat ears. Step 2: Wear all grey. Step 3: Avoid men at all costs. MEN ARE THE ENEMY.
  2. My grandmother at her bachelorette party.
    The one and only requirement is LOVING YOUR LIFE.
  3. Conjoined twin turtles!!!
    This one requires a friend. I am accepting applications in the DC area.