A Chronicle of 2015, for Future Me
This is not meant to be a witty social media thing I just like making lists and this app is easy and I'm pretty sure none of you care.
- •I learned to fall in love with amazing female friends instead of cute boys I kind of know and only ever argue withthis feels so cliche and gross and I am obviously still boy crazy because that is who I am and honestly who I am happy being. But the depth and love and happiness I got from my female friendships this year (and truly, let myself get from them) was astounding and ravishing and everything I needed that I had never let myself have before. It's sad because many of these platonic love affairs were cut short (or at least dampened) by graduation, but these unnamed ladies will always mean a lot to me.
- •I let myself love comedy, despite being an overachieving nerd who is terrified of failurecomedy is the one thing I've never felt I could do (I still think I'm better suited to other modes of creativity & writing), so despite my love for it, I never let myself become truly invested. This year I absorbed all the late night I could, read all the articles and watched all the documentaries. I kept up with SNL and I even took a joke-writing class that didn't make me want to jump into a pit of flesh-eating insects. Maybe one day I'll be a late in life Amy Poehler but this is good for now.
- •I co-wrote a one-act play with a new friend. #baeareaboysThis was such an amazing experience, even if no one else likes the play half as much as I did. It goes along with my exploration of the comedy world, but also was a big step for my writerly self - I tried writing with someone else! Me! A girl who is a total control freak! I revised and revised (a thing I love and hate in equal measure). I saw a piece of my writing produced with time and effort put into it, and it allowed me to see that writing for all its faults and cracks (and merits).
- •I wrote a script that I outlined first.My BA pilot seemed like a joke for most of 2015, but when I had to get down to it, I was more organized and analytical than I had ever let myself be before. It's kind of terrifying to take something seriously when it's something you've only ever approached with a light-hearted, "whatever I'm decent at this" attitude.
- •I graduated & it was TV-level symbolic.The weather was horrible/confusing-muddy in the morning, sweltering by midday. Nothing I planned for my outfit worked quite as planned. I was forcibly separated from my BFF at the last minute & sat through most of the ceremony completely alone. I befriended a guy I had hardly known in school, only to be reminded I'd probably never see him again. They fucked up calling my name & had to redo it. Everything was rushed & the photos were disappointing. But ultimately, it's a beautiful memory. #life
- •I turned down a job. (Okay, I turned down the mere potential of being offered a job, if I'm being honest.)This is not bragging, I swear. It's not that it was a good or a bad job. But it was offered to me when I was first unemployed & the threat of lacking self-sufficient security loomed. I hate not feeling independent & I also have a really hard time saying no to people. I didn't want to disappoint anyone (the people offering the job or people waiting on me to be ~successful) and so it was a tempting-as-fuck offer. But it would have meant putting off what I truly wanted, and for once I chose a risk.
- •I moved to LA, and I wasn't a huge baby about it.I was a medium sized baby, but what did anyone expect?
- •I went on dates. Multiple!!Weird, awkward, confusing, unfun, sometimes terrifying, dates. But I survived and everything was okay. And I have stories now that I love to tell strangers.
- •I got an internship and then a job at places (and with people) I love.I will always remember these things and don't really need to chronicle them here.
- •I like driving on the highway now.This is insane. I have been terrified of driving since I was 14 and the concept loomed over me. I have taken huge detours to avoid it. And now I'm super (kind of) chill, even if I don't drive as fast as my friends want me to.
- •I prioritized good people over the people who I wanted to be good.I romanticize everything, including people I know. I inevitably hold certain friends to too-high standards, due to my perception of our potential. (We could be Tina & Amy! We could be Jim & Pam!) and then when they disappoint me, I fall hard and low and painful. But I made a lot of progress this year in seeing people for who they were and now who I wanted them to be. (This is gross as fuck, no wonder I hate cheesy end of year posts.)
- •I did not see Hamilton.But it's ok!!! I'm seeing it on January 2nd, 2016!!!!!!!! ⭐️🎭🎟🎶
- •Making this list suggestible so that if I have any friends on here who want to share memories we made in 2015, you can!!! 👯💗🎉💯🍻🙏🏼