Thoughts for When You're Lying in Bed and Your Roommate Decides to Vacuum at 11pm

  1. It wouldn't be so bad to be Matt Damon's character in The Martian.
  2. Taylor Swift would probably vacuum at 4 in the morning and expect you to be impressed that she has time to vacuum.
  3. If Jake Gyllenhaal were my boyfriend, I would be so happy that I wouldn't care about my roommate vacuuming.
  4. Good thing I'm not in Taylor Swift's squad, because it was very insensitive and unsquad-like of me to list mentions of her and Jake Gyllenhaal alongside each other.
  5. Do Matt Damon and Ben Affleck have a squad or is it just them and then Casey Affleck walking three steps behind them?
  6. Casey Affleck is probably very frustrated by Elizabeth Olsen's success.
  7. Do Casey Affleck and Luke Wilson have a support group?
  8. Theory: No one's career was hit harder by the Rom Com Recession than Luke Wilson.