All the things I feel or think going from attractive to ugly

Tonight is technical rehearsal at Pageant of the Masters. See my previous li.st for pictures. The show starts with an audience Wednesday and runs all summer.
  1. How awesome I was cast!
    Omg, the character is ugly, fat and old.
  2. Surely no one will see me anyway.
    I was in press night and all over papers and the Internet (which actually was quite awesome)
  3. It will be okay. Beauty is superficial
    (After make up). Wow, half my face is a different color and I look hideous.
  4. What about all those make up tricks I've learned over the years to look my best
    Yeah, guess those are out the window
  5. It's famous art. Don't be so superficial.
    Yes, but out of 150 selected pieces, it's the second ugliest.
  6. Someone did this to me on purpose.
    To see the pretty gal knocked down. (This is not true; but just my conspiracy thinking)
  7. This fake hard hat wig is not something I'd wear even if I was old and gray
    Nope. Not a chance.
  8. So much for the Botox
    Wrinkles are painted on anyway.
  9. A little girl says, hey, you should have been cast for these (pointing to pretty art characters)
    I was like, "I know, right!"
  10. The other blond gal like me is a nude model on a different piece
    Okay, how did I get cast for this ugly character again?
  11. This is not going to affect ur self esteem, confidence or self worth
    Yeah, okay. I think we are long past that. It was a given the first day.
  12. They told me, when I was cast, if I'm in it my son is more likely to get cast
    So I stayed. He got cast. Sacrifices of a mom.
  13. The applause will make it worth it.
    10 seconds of applause for two hours of ugly. Hmmm, I'll let you know later this week.