Keep Calm and Act How the Thin People Act
  1. Everyone in here is smiling...
    Should I be smiling? It's 6 am and I haven't even brushed my teeth I'm afraid to open my mouth.
  2. Is this what intensity level 5/10 feels like?
    Cause I feel like I've reached the summit of Mt. Everest already.
  3. Water... I need water... Why is no one else taking a water break?
  4. Maybe I can just pretend my resistance is up really high and no one will know the difference.
    (Pan to instructor pointing it at me). "TURN IT UP OVER THERE. IT SHOULD BE HEAVY!" *tear trickles slowly down my face*
  5. If I pass out and fall off of this bike will my feet still be strapped into the pedals?
    What would my head hit first? Do you think the thin people would stop their workout to help?
  6. I'm going to need a new towel this one is already too wet to soak up more sweat.
  7. *Checks watch* 10 minutes have passed...
    Exaggerated sigh of regret and self loathing for having woken up at 5:30 am to do this.
  8. "You can't leave now or the thin people will know you're not one of them."