THINGS TO AVOID DURING TINDER DATES

"Because no one wants to hear about your shitty breakup"
  1. Exes
    Aforementioned above
  2. Politics, religion, morals, humanity?
    Because I guess they qualify as one category. Pretty standard.
  3. Entertaining/scaring yourself to think your date either is
    Crazy, a stalker, a crazy stalker sent by your ex (crossing off more items on this list)
  4. Work
    "No one cares if you work at crappy retail inc. Your in 'sales'!"
  5. How many matches you have
    My very first tinder date, he said he only had 3. He's been on it for two years. I had 30 within two days. I don't know which sounds worse
  6. Or anything relating to the amount of people you've had sex with
    Because why?! This is a first date, not an interrogation. And if I say a number first, your just gonna say something around that number. What if you find out that I lied later? Then you lied! Then this whole thing starts on a lie!
  7. Scenarios where family and friends can easily make you regret that you went on the date
    "He GRABBED your CHEEKS like GRANDMA DOES?" "I though it was sexy..." "Does that mean you smashed?" "..."