BEST JUDGE JUDY SAYINGS TO INCORPORATE INTO YOUR LIFE
- •"Um is not an answer."For when you need to tell people to tighten up their shit. Like when you ask for a third basket of breadsticks at Olive Garden.
- •"Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining."I know you have more breadsticks in the back. Keep 'em flowing.
- •"If it doesn't make sense, it's not true."No, really, you aren't out of breadsticks.
- •"Beauty fades. Dumb is forever."Except for the beauty of breadsticks. That's also forever.
- •"They don't keep me here because I'm 5'10" and gorgeous."A 5'10" breadstick would be gorgeous. Are there any of those in back?
- •*laughs in people's faces over something ridiculous they're saying*Oh, you hate the breadsticks because they're too salty? LOLOLOLOL. OKAY.
- •"BALONEY, SIR!"(There's no such thing as a 5'10" breadstick.)
- •"Do I look like I need help from you?"I actually do. I need more dipping sauce.