In my head, at least.
  1. Rugged man wearing tube socks and carrying dirty hiking shoes out of his house: "Hello, it's me..."
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    Gregor loved hiking around the world. His biggest hike was coming up: Mt. Kilimanjaro. I was constantly worried about his safety on his long treks. When would he make it back to basecamp? I could no longer handle the worry and tube sock expenses, and left him a Dear John note on his REI receipt the night before he left for Tanzania.
  2. The man wearing his church suit riding a motorcycle: "Did you ever make it out of that town where nothing ever happened?"
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    Jeff thought he was Jax Teller. He was not Jax Teller. Jax Teller doesn't work at Joseph A. Bank. When I grew weary of all the games, I threw everything I owned into a JAB hanging garment bag and left during his shift at the Buy 1, Get 3 Free sale.
  3. Very attractive man that looked a little like Chiwetel Ejiofor holding a rental car key: "I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be..."
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    Bart was super-hot and had style for days, which is fortunate for an artisanal bow tie salesman. But he was always gone -- driving his rental car around regionally, and just generally being a bow tie sales rock star, groupies included. I couldn't handle the life of a wholesale bow tie widow, and burned his entire tie collection in the bathtub one night, writing "Hello, can you hear me?" in my mascara tears on the bathroom mirror. Then I moved to California.
  4. Man on a crotch rocket holding a fast food bag between his legs and making awkward eye contact with me as he drove: "There's such a difference between us..."
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    Jordan was reckless and did dumb shit. Just keep your eyes on the GD road and buy a backpack, dude. "They say times supposed to heal ya, but I ain't done much healing..."