FOR MY FUNERAL, PLEASE...

  1. Play on a loop those vignettes at the end of Judge Judy where the plaintiffs and defendants talk shit about each other.
  2. Invite Britney Spears.
  3. Read a passage from a Christopher Pike book.
  4. Do not invite Slade Smiley.
  5. Give everyone that attends (NOT SLADE SMILEY) a complementary copy of the Teen Witch "Top That" rap.
  6. Note that dress code should be airbrush t shirt casual.