MY FAVORITE RECENT TEXTS FROM MY PARENTS

My parents have been divorced for a million years, but still share custody of me via text.
  1. Dad
    Rude.
  2. Dad
    Buys expensive shit, just watches Andy Griffith DVDs on it.
  3. Mom
    I don't know what a Google card is, but you go, girl.
  4. Dad
    Ok.
  5. Dad
    He loves this dog, who is adorable and also kind of an asshole. She will jump on the dining room table just so she can bark directly in your face.
  6. Dad
    Ok, pt 2.
  7. Mom
    As you can see, she sent this a couple weeks ago. At least she knows my Spears interests.
  8. Mom
    I forced her to buy sunglasses that match mine exactly.