SUBJECTS OF UNAUTHORIZED LIFETIME MOVIES I WANT TO BE MADE

Quit fucking around, Lifetime.
  1. The people that show dogs. Like those dog pageant things.
  2. That lady astronaut who wore the adult diaper cross-country to try to abduct her romantic rival.
  3. Jesse Camp, the guy that won MTV's Wanna Be a VJ contest.
  4. That fourth girl from Destiny's Child.
  5. Bobby Trendy
  6. Whoever gave Kate Gosselin that Kate Gosselin haircut.
  7. Golden Girls. Obviously.
  8. The kids of Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. August Gloop, what's good?