THINGS I THOUGHT WERE TRUE WHEN I WAS A KID
- •Drinking and driving laws encompassed all liquids. I once yelled at my mom for drinking tea and said I was going to call the police on the car phone.
- •Picking my nose too much made my nostrils big.
- •When you ran away you had to do so with one of those sticks-with-the-kerchief-on-the-end deal, so I did.
- •You could just drive an empty, glittery gold limo around as your personal car. I mean, I guess you can actually do this.
- •Bagging groceries was the most fun job a person could have. Maybe it really is. I still want to do this.