THINGS I WANT TO GOOGLE BUT I'M TOO EMBARRASSED THAT I MIGHT DIE AND THE POLICE WILL FIND IT

  1. What is a rutabaga?
  2. How do I get my eyebrows to look like Zachary Quinto's?
  3. Are you supposed to make eye contact with everyone when you're just waking around on the street?
  4. How old is too old to wear one of those flat-billed hats?
  5. How old is too old to wear overalls?
  6. How old is too old to wear a thong?
  7. What are other types of underwear?
  8. What is ghost sex like?
  9. Can you pick the ghost or is it just like whoever's haunting around? Like I don't want any ol' ghost dick.