THOUGHTS I HAVE WHILE DRINKING WINE 🍷

  1. "I can't believe how much I like wine now. I'm so mature."
  2. "This Babybel™ cheese is such a delight." (Because I'm now also somehow eating cheese.)
  3. "This popcorn is dope, too." (Because I'm now also somehow eating popcorn.)
  4. "Am I trash because I drink refrigerated red wine?" (Yes.)
  5. "Should I turn on that new Missy Elliot song and dance?" (No.)
  6. "How many glasses of wine per night is advisable? Like, if I have two is it a thing?"
  7. "I bet I could be a bartender on @BravoWWHL I can pour wine." (Barely, and I have a generous pour.)
  8. "I wonder what Mariah Carey is doing right now."
  9. "I wonder if MC likes Babybel™ cheese." (Of course she does, everyone does.)
  10. "I should read a history book or something. Not just old Christopher Pike books. How many times can someone read Remember Me?"
  11. *reads three pages of Christopher Pike and falls asleep*