WAYS I'M SCARED I'LL DIE THAT I'VE READ ABOUT IN THE NEWS 👯

Isn't this fun and kick dance-y?
  1. A gargoyle falling off a building and onto my head
  2. Falling on top of a wine glass and slashing my neck IN MY OWN HOME WHILE DRINKING MY OWN WINE. It's like being murdered by your best friend.
  3. A rollercoaster chopping off my head somehow. (I cry on rollercoasters anyway. Even kids ones.)
  4. Driving and a big stick or something coming through the windshield and chopping off my head.
  5. Basically, just my head getting chopped off unexpectedly and not in a prepared way, like with a guillotine.
  6. Bonus non-newsworthy death: somehow ingesting broken glass. If someone drops and breaks a glass across the room in a restaurant, I have to force myself to keep eating my food, but I keep a keen eye out for anything that appears even slightly glittery. Also, I don't want to eat glitter.