I'm always thirsty, in the literal sense and not the slangy one. Why?
  1. I have a thirst disorder.
  2. I have some kind of well inside my body that's deeper than the one Baby Jessica fell down. (Shoutout to my fellow old people.)
  3. I'm a human rice cooker?
  4. I'm turning into a old, dried-up bitch, literally, and my body is being resistant.
  5. I'm growing both Frank Ocean and Billy Ocean in my body.
  6. I eat too many potato chips. I do love potato chips.