This Girl's Life: An Autobiography in Bullet Points, Part I
Random facts on a timeline.
- •I was born the day after Thanksgiving.My mom refused to give birth to me on the third Thursday of November. "I want my turkey," she said.
- •When I was 2, my brother spit gum in my hair.He never got in trouble for it.
- •At three, I loved to say the phrase, "Pink Pig," with attitude.Still, no one knows why.
- •I demanded to be potty-trained in the kitchen.Don't worry, I had a portable potty.
- •My first curse was pretty lame.I told my grandma I would "spank the hell out of her." She was aghast and I was the one who got spanked.
- •I had my first boyfriend at age 3.His name was Grant. He called me "Lovebug."
- •I vomited in a bathtub at age four.It took me several years to eat chicken again.
- •I used to pretend I was adopted.But didn't everybody?
- •Hook was the first movie I saw in theaters.I was TERRIFIED.
- •At four, I bought my own pair of Katerina Witt inline skates.
- •When I was four, I thought it was so cool that my brother was twice my age (8).
- •At my kindergarten interview, I convinced the school that my name was not Kelley.I was Gloria. And they believed me because I could spell it. Thank you, Van Morrison. G-L-O-R-I-A.