THINGS I'D RATHER DO THAN WATCH ARSENAL/MANCHESTER UNITED THIS WEEKEND

  1. Pluck my eyes out
  2. Watch WPSL
  3. Watch Lifetime movies
  4. Write an episode of Pretty Little Liars
  5. Read a Danielle Steele novel
  6. Get dental work done
  7. Work in a sweatshop
  8. Play Cards Against Humanity with my parents
  9. Have to watch Vampire Diaries all the way through like that one time
  10. Play Settlers of Catan with three other players like myself
  11. Get repeatedly hit with the blue shell in Mario Kart
  12. Get a body wax