WHAT MY JOB TITLES SHOULD HAVE BEEN

A list of shitty jobs I've worked and what my title should have been
  1. Residential Counselor at an Eating Disorder Center: Professional Snack Maker and Toilet Flusher
  2. Sales Associate at a Candy Shop: Candy Shop Thot
  3. Therapeutic Activities Intern at Assisted Living Home: Human Play Button
  4. Family Support Specialist: Child Uber Driver
  5. Welcome Team at a Ritzy Gym: Fake Smiling Expert
  6. Waitress at a Family Dinner: Expert Side-dish & Ice Cream Lister