Deciphering the emotional state of men based on their top knots

Inspired by @ShawnKelly
  1. Doesn't have girlfriend
  2. Regret
  3. Flooby glop glibbidy doo
  4. Lonely
  5. Depressed
  6. Confused about what a good hair style is
  7. Hoping his hair will grow back quick
  8. Sad about the length of it