Reasons I've Unfriended Someone on Facebook
No one needs a thousand friends. I realize I could unfollow these people but unfriending is more satisfying. (After writing this list, I think it's amazing I have any friends at all.)
- •You post about politicsI don't care what side you're on, Facebook is not a soap box.
- •You post hateful/sexist/racist thingsYou suck.
- •You just got engagedI don't need to see the picture of your hand for the next 4 days.
- •You just got marriedSee above, but this time it's shitty phone pix of your first dance that's dark and blurry from various guests who tagged "the beautiful couple. #love"
- •You just announced your pregnancyYour announcement was tacky and I'm preemptively opting out of monthly photos leading up to and after the birth.
- •You just had a babyIn case I tolerated your pregnancy and made it this far - now you're going to spam my feed everyday with pictures and videos I don't care to see.
- •You can't spellThere's autocorrect. What is your excuse?
- •Your updates are uncreative"Nothing like [doing something boring] in [unusual weather] degrees!"
- •We haven't talked since high school and you randomly popped up on my feedI don't know who you are anymore. Let's move on.
- •You share every dumb article you read on the internetEspecially those who post fake news articles!
- •Your profile picture is cliche or offensive
- •You over-shareOh, you went to get froyo at your favorite spot in town? GREAT.
- •You post pictures of foodEspecially if it's goddamn froyo.
- •I only befriended you because of a mutual friend, whom I'm no longer friends with so byeee
- •We are actually not friends anymoreDoesn't happen often, but is a legit reason to unfriend on Facebook. Applies to romantic break ups as well.
- •You're my dad