What I have been doing the summer before college as a displaced Valley Girl

Three weeks ago my family moved down from the beautiful SFV to Orange County, home of malls. I do not know anybody. This is how I've been embracing my solitude:
  1. Checking out the local Whole Foods for the sport of it.
    And scrambling to find my debit card before dropping $15 on chocolate covered almonds (and lentil chips).
  2. Developing my road rage.
    So far it's just me screaming "FUCK" due to oversensitivity and frustration.
  3. Turning into my mother.
    Taking the "5" to get to my job interview while donning a white blouse.
  4. Talking to myself.
    A sign of intelligence (?)
  5. Stress dreaming.
    See: "Job interview."
  6. Eating alone in a Subway.
    See: "Alone."
  7. Watching Conan "scraps" on YouTube.
    For inspiration!
  8. Starting and then abandoning TV shows.
    Big Brother, The Office, Twin Peaks (I was almost done, too!)
  9. Dorm shopping.
    And dorm returning. (The lady at Tuesday Morning is my new best friend.)
  10. Actually working in a big girl office.
    Part of my quest to market myself as a tough, nothing-can-stand-in-my-way young professional. The boy at the UPS store was impressed!
  11. Trying to share my political opinion in the least aggressive way.
    Please don't vote for Jill Stein!
  12. Striving to buy the most amount of clothes with the least amount of money.
    Sundresses are good because they count as a top and a bottom.
  13. Cringing at all the weird shit I did in high school.
    But "The past is in the past."-Elsa, Frozen.
  14. ✌🏻️