HOW TO THROW A HIGH-SCHOOL PARTY

Step by step list
  1. 1.
    Make sure parents aren't home
    Or in my case, just make sure mom is out of town (I have a cool step dad)
  2. 2.
    Make a playlist
    Anything with a ton of bass is popular among today's youth. Good music is off limits.
  3. 3.
    Get the word out
    There's always that one guy who knows how to make sure everyone knows about your party.
  4. 4.
    Buy cheap beer, and a lot of it
    Find a friend with a fake ID, and tell them not to buy any beer that costs more than $20 for a 30 rack. Maybe some bottom shelf vodka, too.
  5. 5.
    Get supplies
    Find a table your family uses for yard sales and bring it inside. Buy dozens of off brand solo cups, cause you're ballin' on a budget. Ping pong balls are also a necessity.
  6. 6.
    Vow to be responsible and keep things under control
    Okay I shouldn't get THAT drunk.
  7. 7.
    Turn up music
    If you don't get at least two noise complaints, you aren't doing it right.
  8. 8.
    Forget vow to be responsible
    "Screw this, I'm getting fucked up"
  9. 9.
    Commence "getting fucked up"
    Chug that cheap beer! And forget about responsibilities
  10. 10.
    Wake up full of regrets
    Well at least you are at your own house to nurse that hangover, and pick up hundreds of empty cups and cans.