HOW TO THROW A HIGH-SCHOOL PARTY
Step by step list
- 1.Make sure parents aren't homeOr in my case, just make sure mom is out of town (I have a cool step dad)
- 2.Make a playlistAnything with a ton of bass is popular among today's youth. Good music is off limits.
- 3.Get the word outThere's always that one guy who knows how to make sure everyone knows about your party.
- 4.Buy cheap beer, and a lot of itFind a friend with a fake ID, and tell them not to buy any beer that costs more than $20 for a 30 rack. Maybe some bottom shelf vodka, too.
- 5.Get suppliesFind a table your family uses for yard sales and bring it inside. Buy dozens of off brand solo cups, cause you're ballin' on a budget. Ping pong balls are also a necessity.
- 6.Vow to be responsible and keep things under controlOkay I shouldn't get THAT drunk.
- 7.Turn up musicIf you don't get at least two noise complaints, you aren't doing it right.
- 8.Forget vow to be responsible"Screw this, I'm getting fucked up"
- 9.Commence "getting fucked up"Chug that cheap beer! And forget about responsibilities
- 10.Wake up full of regretsWell at least you are at your own house to nurse that hangover, and pick up hundreds of empty cups and cans.