10 SUPREMELY AND INCREASINGLY DANK SUGGESTIONS FOR THE PORN INDUSTRY

I have some major changes and I expect to get an email saying they were implemented. Heads up though, for realsies, this is some pretty weird stuff I came up with.
  1. 10.
    Amish Porn
    Which-If you can't read my mind-is just pornographic images and obscene words carved into pieces of wood. It's something you have to see in person. Because cameras are technology bruh.
  2. 9.
    The XXX Files
    Actually might already be a thing. Idk. Fun fact:I have never seen the show "The X Files" but it would basically be an essentially but not entirely shot for shot remake of all the episodes, because this is straight to dvd parody porn and it parodies every individual episode.
  3. 8.
    Claymation Porn
    This would be terrifying. Especially if someone is really good at it. Like you could get real weird with this. As an artist, I think possibilities for this genre are endless and horrific. Like. Really. Someone should(n't) do this. I do(n't) want to see this.
  4. 7.
    Interview with Lyrics Porn
    It's basically just filming someone tell a story about a sexual experience in a monotone voice. With lyrics. So. Idk where I was going with this.
  5. 6.
    Regular porn except with loud animal noises
    So you know, like, elephant noises, dolphin noises and bee noises. Every time someone opens their mouth an animal noise is played. Its different each time and then at end it tells you some fun facts about the animals and their noises that were used in the video. The uncanny ability that the animal noises have will overpower the sexually influential ability that the porn has; making the videos overall more of an educational video than anything. The noises are just too distracting.
  6. 5.
    Nocturnal Porn
    It's regular porn except it would be filmed in the dark. But its still film. Not just audio, you were filming them having sex, but, you cannot see them having sex. You just hear them. And most of the noise is clothes being taken off and very weird-but necessary-witty banter shared between the people having sex. The point is your supposed to leave the rest up to your imagination, sport.
  7. 4.
    Leastiality
    Instead of having people fuck animals, we just have some people doing the least amount of fucking of animals. Like, you know, a single dude living in a city taking his dog for a walk and picking up after it. You know he wants to fuck the dog but he doesn't. Because if he did, then that would be bestiality. This is leastiality, and in leastiality the undertone of "I wanna fuck this animal" is obvious but not acted upon because ew thats a lot grosser.
  8. 3.
    Masturbation Aftermath POV Porn
    So it's first person POV, and the videos start with a weird silence and then the camera looks down at whatever gross stuff you did with yourself and then you hear a sigh. After the sigh, the camera makes its way to the bathroom where the camera-in first person-films the gross stuff you did with yourself being cleaned. It's intended audience is for those who want a weird virtual out of body in body sexual experience. It's also called Transcendentalist Pornography.
  9. 2.
    Realistic Third Wheel Porn
    Its first person POV where the viewer is the third wheel. The plot goes three friends, establishment of the third wheel, momentary abandonment of the third wheel, then finally the rejoice of all three people. Usually the other two don't venture too far, so, if you listen ever so carefully, you can just barely hear pornographic audio. You have to be looking for it, horny, and listening for it to hear it. Otherwise you are shit out of luck.
  10. 1.
    Porn Commentary
    Pretty self explanatory, but, in case you didn't understand. All the pornstars, writers, directors and producers do a commentary for the porn video.