My understanding is that this means I get to see my family again, correct? That was the deal, right?
  1. It's pretty dark but I'm pretty sure you're not a dude
  2. My name is Eric and I like kids, pussy, and kids pussy
  3. I was checking you out and I got a boner but then I thought of my mom and like most things I have, she ruined. She'd love you.
  4. You are exactly my type. Someone who I would eat lo mein out of's ass
  5. Are you flirting with me or am I stroking out because you smell like some fine ass burnt toast
  6. Are you tired? Because you look like someone who – at exactly 2:30 AM – is gonna take my virginity on the old tire swing
  7. Yes, Ms. Trebek, I will take "Your Prettier Sister" for 45 minutes please.
  8. Hey, wanna go smoke weed out of our butts together? I can teach you if you don't know how, but, I am going to have to charge extra for that.
  9. Do you wanna show your dad how much you hate him? Because I could help you with that
  10. What is your opinion on a mid-life crisis in terms of how hot it is?
  11. Are you an angel? Because you remind me of my daughters innocence
  12. My dick is so big that every time I get an erection, I pass out
  13. Nothing makes me wetter than watching pilot episodes of successful television shows
  14. Nothing gets me harder than the sound of thunder accompanied by a power outage
  15. Is 100 pick up lines too many to get popular?
  16. You would by any chance already happen to have herpes, would you?
  17. I am a virgin
  18. I am not a virgin
  19. I have yet to lose my butt virginity
  20. Ask me what butt virginity is
  21. Wanna see me turn a bird inside out?
  22. You are exactly the type of person I want to give birth to my children
  23. You want to know why they call me 'Screamgasm'?
  24. Did you know that I have copious amounts of weed in my van?
  25. Who do I have to give drinks to if I wanna get some head
  26. What do you mean my card was declined?
  27. You are one sexy bozo
  28. Did you know, that Guinea pigs are the only other mammal besides humans that is able to contract scurvy?
  29. I bet your pussy tastes like nickels I found under the couch
  30. I have an hypersensitive gag reflux if that's your thing
  31. I have what the kids are calling a micropenis
  32. Who wants to swap not just spit but also blood and spinal fluid
  33. Did you ever do an amateur porno? Because I swear I saw you on xvideo
  34. If you do not sleep with me I will definitely consider killing myself
  35. Are you a fan of negative reinforcement?
  36. Have you ever slept with a hermaphrodite before?
  37. Me neither.
  38. Please say you are my cousin
  39. I recently suffered a concussion, would you like to get one too?
  40. I bet by the end of this night I am going to be naked in bed with you, sobbing uncontrollably.
  41. Is cuddling something you want to do?
  42. How did they not card you? Wanna come back to my place?
  43. Is it 4:20 already? Huh. BLAZE IT!
  44. If you would just reduce the fifty feet down to ten, I bet we could still watch each other until we fall asleep
  45. 45?
  46. Most of these aren't even pick up lines
  47. Do you believe I life after loofa?
  48. Do you want to be my Yoko?
  49. Let's play "Fuck Me"
  50. Let's play "Consent"
  51. Let's play "Gynecologist"
  52. Let's play "Drugs"
  53. Let's play XBox
  54. Let's get married maybe
  55. How much?
  56. The money's on the dresser
  57. My dad said to watch out for girls like you
  58. My mom says I am hot
  59. My libido says yes but my eyes say no, what do you say?
  60. WD40 is an oil based lubricant, right?
  61. We could just 69 but what about all those other numbers
  62. I have taken the liberty of already ruling out foreplay
  63. Touché
  64. Are you a Lesley Gore type of deviant or more of a Kanye deviant?
  65. Just the pit?
  66. Netflix and hill?
  67. I am so bored. Board games. Games. Ames. Anes. Anus. Fuck me.
  68. Which Disney movie sums up your sexuality best?
  69. Kill Fuck Marry. My Dad, My Dad's Dad, My Dad's Dad's Dad
  70. Are you pregnant?
  71. Want to be?
  72. Do you prefer vagina or vulva
  73. I have been described as having a rolo cock
  74. As in the candy, yes.
  75. This is one of the few bars I haven't been kicked out of, how about you?
  76. I am legally required to inform you that I am a party animal and an attempted murderer
  77. On a scale of one to ten, how much do you hate yourself?
  78. Age is just a number
  79. Heads up, I'm a squirmer
  80. Heads up, I'm a squirter
  81. Heads up, I'm a skirter
  82. Heads up, I'm a skirt steak
  83. Heads up, I'm vegan
  84. Oh. No, but thank you. I decided to give up pussy for lent
  85. I'm on a booty fast right now, so could we just jerk each other off
  86. 86 is a lot of pick up lines
  87. But 87?
  88. Outrageous
  89. You remind me of myself when I was still a virgin, wanna change that?
  90. I have at least a highschool education
  91. I come from a long line of prostitutes
  92. Is it to early for shots?
  93. I will do anything just to blast my nips
  94. Blast my nips
  95. Blast my nips
  96. Blast my nips
  97. I once fucked a girl that looked like you in a Chuck-E-Cheeses. I was only there because I was 8 years old
  98. I don't feel good about posting this
  99. But