Why I'm going donate my teenagers to the state

Inspired by @beclem I hope you're happy because the gang sure isn't.
  1. "Dad, how did mom ever fall in love with a guy who likes sucking dick more than her?"
    Because. I am actually you're mom.
  2. "I am going to put you in a home when you get old"
    Aight. Shit, homie; you can do the fuck you want cuz' tomorrow you gon' wake up underground. Where only I can hear yo bitch ass screamin' cuz' I straight tapped yo new room-wassup muhfucka watchu' gon' do? You aint gon' do shit cuz' my son a bitch ass luh juvenile!
  3. "I hope you stroke out in the shower"
    And I hope you have fun burying me
  4. "I'm gonna run away"
    Go ahead. You won't. YOU WON'T!
  5. "I love mom more than you"
    "Oh thank god! Because now when your mother and I get that divorce you caused, she will be the one with custody, because I'm OUT!